What to Say and Do when a Co-Worker Loses a Loved One

When it comes to death, what we are obliged to do and say at home is not the same as what we do in a professional setting. Let’s face it, many of us spend more time with certain co-workers than our significant others and children, But, bound by office or work culture we often do not enjoy the liberties of intimate personal relationships. This article attempts to provide guidance and practical tips for when a co-worker loses a loved one.

1. Acknowledgment and Empathy
When offering condolences to your co-worker, show your empathy and acknowledge the severity of the loss. Use empathetic phrases like “I’m sorry for your loss,” “I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now,” or “I’m here for you if you need anything.” We all know these well-worn statements but they mean a lot to someone in this situation! Remember not to minimize their pain by saying negative phrases like “at least they lived a long life” or “at least they’re not in pain anymore.” These comments may be intended to offer hope, but can feel insensitive and unhelpful at such difficult times.

2. Be Specific in Offering Help
It’s always helpful to be specific when offering help to your co-worker. Ask if there’s anything you can do to make their day easier, like taking their workload for a while or covering their shift when they need to be away. Be flexible in your offer and let them know it’s okay to ask for help if there’s anything they need.

3. Avoid Platitude Statements
When communicating with your grieving colleague, avoid using general statements that may be unhelpful or inappropriate. Statements like “Time is a great healer,” “They are in a better place now,” or “Everything happens for a reason” may be well-intentioned, but can be counterproductive. Instead, validate their grief by showing understanding and willingness to help them get through it.

4. Be Mindful of Timelines and Anniversaries
Losing someone close to us is a challenging time, but the anniversaries and holidays can make it even more challenging. Send a message, a card, or a call to check in on them on important days. This lets them know that they are not alone and someone cares for them. Remember to be mindful of these timelines because they may become emotional triggers for them.

5. Offering Selfless Support
Offer support. This can come in the form of practical support, or emotional support – or both. Whichever form of support, we believe it should be given unconditionally. Keep in mind, the larger burden of grief is on your co-worker.

When you offer support to your co-worker who is grieving, it’s important to be respectful, patient, and compassionate. Be prepared to offer different forms of support and listen to their needs. Remember that it’s a difficult time, and some may have a tough time accepting help or communicating their needs. It’s best to strike a balance between giving them the space they need and being present when they need to talk or vent about their situation.

About us

Rose Mortuaries and Cremation is a pillar of the Rancho Mirage community offering dignified cremation and funeral services to the entire Coachella Valley for almost 50 years. We provide complete services from our two locations, Rancho Mirage and Desert Hot Springs, California.